The Mama Hustling On The Job

Becoming a “Mompreneur”

By Chloe Tilley

I was 3 months postpartum when I was laid off from my fancy corporate job, and had absolutely no idea what to do next. I was in the midst of figuring out how to take care of this tiny human AND work (from home thankfully). But with being laid off, I was now stuck with trying to find a new job + take care of this tiny human, and then potentially learn a new job.

This was back in 2019, so working at home wasn’t as widely accepted as it is now, and I was afraid I wasn’t going to be able to find a job that I loved that would allow me to work at home and prioritize motherhood. So after thinking through it, a new job just didn’t feel right to me.

Through a very wild and glorious process, I found myself starting my own design business. I had no idea what I was doing, and you could probably say I was very naive. However, I see it as the goodness of the Lord protecting my mind and heart from fear.

In 2020, my husband, Aaron, began focusing on parenting our son, Asher, while I worked full-time.

Due to our unique family dynamic that went against societal and even religious norms, we faced some pointed opinions and judgements from those who didn’t understand. These opinions made it difficult at times for Aaron and I to feel empowered in our decision, yet we kept pursuing what we felt God was leading us into. We were paving a path that we didn’t have a map for – just a compass with a general direction.

After a few months of working full-time, I couldn’t get over this overwhelming feeling like I was less of a mother because I was giving more of myself to work. I remember crying after Asher would go to bed. I felt like I was doing something wrong, and the guilt was overwhelming even though I truly felt the Lord leading me to pursue my business and entrepreneurship in addition to being a mother. I wanted to build something that my children could inherit. I wanted to help people in my own unique way. Yet I had very few examples of how to do this + motherhood, and that left me feeling shame and confusion. Would this ever get easier?

I ended up meeting with my spiritual father about how I was feeling. In tears, I told him I felt like half a mom and half a business owner and not actually doing anything well. He shared something with me that changed my entire perspective.

First, he read Proverbs 31 to me, the passage you probably know as “The Virtuous Woman”. I know most have heard this passage and it’s kind of become almost a cliche, but there is some amazing truth that he helped me see. He showed me that this woman is a great asset to her home. Not only is she nurturing and hospitable, but she also brings wealth to her home. She delights in the works of her hands. She’s multi-passionate. She is a force.

Second, he showed me how beautiful it was for Asher to form this unique bond with his father. Aaron and I both grew up in fatherless homes, so for Asher to experience life with a very present father was a treasure. Not only that, but Aaron’s deepest desire was to be able to give his children what he never had as a child and so much more. How is that wrong?

Through this shift in perspective, I could see that my work was holy and pleasing to the Father, despite the things I had been taught. My spiritual father was able to show me that I am not 50% mom and 50% entrepreneur – I am 100% who God has created me to be. I am Chloé the mom, Chloé the entrepreneur, Chloé the creator…and, above all, Chloé the Beloved. That is the only thing that will ever be able to define me.

And as long as I am living from that place of beloved identity, I can do anything.

Now, with this revelation come a number of practical (and spiritual) things that I have applied to my life so I am able to manage the #mompreneurlife. It all really comes down to being present, intentional, and establishing boundaries. When I’m working –  I’m fully working, focused, and adhere to a specific schedule so I can return to my personal life confidently. When I’m with my son – I’m 100% with my son and giving him my full attention…not bouncing back and forth between emails, texts, social media…etc. I make sure to have those deep quality-time moments with him like giving him eye contact or making time for regular walks in the woods behind our house. This is just one very practical thing that has provided order and peace in our home.

Now that I’m going into year 3 of my business, we have a very steady rhythm to our home. Not only that, but I have seen my husband come alive in his role of fatherhood. He is not a babysitter. He does not “watch” Asher while I work. He is a present father who teaches, cares, and loves our son with the love of Jesus. He takes it very seriously, and I couldn’t be more thankful for such an amazing man. As for me…do I still face moments of struggle? Oh yes. Yet in the midst I hear the Father saying, “Keep going, Beloved! I delight in you.”

If you are a fellow working mother or “mompreneur”, know that you are seen and loved by God. He delights in you! Don’t believe the lie that you aren’t choosing your family when you are working. You can choose your family AND be working. It doesn’t have to be mutually exclusive, despite what some may say. Instead of feeling shame, focus on being present. Instead of guilt, pursue intentionality. Invite Holy Spirit to show you the rhythms that lead to peace and rest, and He will.

Keep going, Beloved!

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Pursuing Motherhood and Chasing Dreams

By Catie Crump

Growing up, I never had big dreams of having a successful career, or a clear vision of what I wanted to do for a living. As a little girl, I remember being surrounded by others that wanted to be teachers, doctors, nurses, and just about anything you can imagine. All I ever wanted to be was a mama. It was the deepest desire of my heart.

I struggled for years to find a career, and worked as a nanny to make ends meet. I always loved to sing, so being the dreamer that I am, I moved to Nashville at 22 to try and make it as a singer. The Lord took me a completely different route once I arrived in Tennessee. I ended up working in the film and entertainment industry. I started as a stylist assistant working on music videos and photo shoots, to 4 years later as a costume designer working on all kinds of film sets. It sounds fun and glamorous but it wore me down. I hustled for years, and it just about killed me. I found myself so lost and searching for more. I was ready to leave Nashville behind.

I met my husband, Jared while on that journey in Nashville. I also learned so much about myself and that all I genuinely wanted was a family, and to get to use my creative mind someway for the kingdom. We got married in 2015, and moved to Aubrey, Texas. We knew immediately that we were ready to start a family. Once again, the Lord had different plans for us. We went through some major struggles in our first year of marriage, and almost got divorced (I will save the testimony of my marriage for another day ha!) God restored our marriage and did a major work on both myself and my husband. We finally found family and community at The Homestead Church. We began to try to have a baby. I had been waiting tables at a local cafe to make ends meet, I felt like it was a huge step backwards, but what I didn’t see was that Abba was about to launch me into starting my own company.

I quit that job in August 2017 to start a cookie company called Nancy Cates Cookies. I ran it from my home, and fell in love with shipping and delivering cookies to people. All the while, we began fertility treatments, which were unsuccessful.

Fast forward to June 2018, Jared and I got a word from Damon Thompson, a spiritual father and leader in our lives, that I needed to open a brick and mortar cookie shop in Aubrey. He believed in it so much that he and his wife, Mama Tammy, personally paid for our first years rent. He also gave us a word on the same day that we were going to have a baby. He had zero clue about our failed attempts to start a family.

On October 19, 2019 we opened Nancy Cates Bakeshop, in the heart of Aubrey. It was amazing, but so much work. We realized very quickly that this sweet shop was our baby for the time being. It consumed so much of my time, that looking back now, I can not imagine being a mommy during that season. The bakeshop became my safe place. I had so many encounters with the Father there. I spent several moments there pouring my heart out to Him to give us a baby. I was building something so sweet and doing exactly what I was made to do, yet I still felt so broken-hearted over my infertility.

In June 2020, Jared and I felt led to start the process of IVF. On June 24th, we met with our spiritual father and mother, Matt and Jamie Brown, for lunch. It was that meeting that changed our world forever. They told us of a mother that was pregnant, and that wanted to find a family for her baby. There is so much to the way this beautiful story unfolded, but I will again save that for another day. We spent a few days praying to see if this was what the Lord wanted for us, and we very quickly were led to say ABSOLUTELY. We found out we were going to have a son. During this same time, we felt God whispering to us to continue with IVF. So while we waited for our baby to get here, we began that process.

The young woman that made me a mama, will forever be so close to my heart. Her bravery and love for this baby, led us to name our son Brave. On November 13, 2020 our baby boy was born. I can not describe the immediate change in my priorities. The bakeshop was not my baby anymore. My dream of becoming a mama was here. There was a supernatural rewiring of my brain that took place. Somehow, I could take my newborn son to the bakeshop and bake cookies, and still figure out how to make time for our family. I had zero clue what I was doing, yet I knew exactly what I was doing at the same time. The grace the Lord poured out over Jared and I during this time of being new parents, and running a small business, was unlike anything I had ever experienced. I fell more and more in love with His presence, and began to finally understand His love for us in a new way since becoming a parent.

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The older Brave got, the more challenging it became to tote him with me to the bakeshop. I began having to leave him home more and more with Jared and it broke my heart. Jared is a phenomenal daddy, and I couldn’t do any of this without him. However, I missed my baby, I was so ready to just stay home with him. In May 2021, we found out I was pregnant. We were beyond excited. We were pregnant for about 7 weeks when we lost the baby. It was beyond devastating.

I found myself resenting the bakery. We knew something had to change. I was overworked and I felt at times that I was falling apart at the seams. We knew it was time to close up shop, or find someone to help.

In November 2021, the Lord brought us Hannah and John Martin, an amazing couple in our church, to partner with us to keep the bakeshop open. We changed the name to Ruby Cates bake+shop, and we began to dream again. I was reminded that our bakery was not just a bakery. It was a house for people to encounter the love of the Father. Ruby Cates has been where The Homestead Church has met for over the past year while our building was being built. To be able to facilitate that in our sweet little shop was so huge to me. It’s so much more than a bake+shop.
The Lord has blown us away in the few months of our new partnership. I have been able to find a healthy balance of work and mommy life.

Last month, we had another miscarriage. Once again, we found ourselves so confused and broken-hearted. This time, because of having unremarkable help at Ruby Cates, I was able to be with my family and the Lord to grieve and process. We have been so blessed with kingdom family that have grown to become closer than blood. They love our son like their own, and always show up to the bake+shop to make sure I’m ok. I am forever grateful to the ones we get to do life with. I have learned so much about being a working mommy from my closest friends, and I am so thankful for their voices in my life.

To all the mamas out there juggling family life and work, I feel you! We are all so different yet so woven together. I have found this to be the most challenging yet beautiful journey I have been on yet. I don’t have it figured out by any means, but I’m thankful for how far I have come. The Lord has been so gracious to me, and so careful with my heart. I wouldn’t change it for the world. Through the busyness of the bakery and of life, I am constantly inundated with glimpses of his goodness. He knows me. He knows my heart and desires so much better than I know myself. He never asked me to walk though this alone. He has never left my side though it all. It is so incredibly better His way, and I wouldn’t change it for the world.

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To the mama hustling on the job:

Hey Mama, I see you
Wearing all the different hats
 Juggling the house, your job, being a wife and mom
Like a circus acrobat.

Hey mama, I see you
When you’re tired, and the house is a mess
Trying to get dinner on the table
With spaghetti sauce on your dress.

Hey there Mama, I see you
And the pile of mismatched socks
Packing lunches, out the door, 
Trying to beat the clock.

Don’t worry, Mama, I see you
Throughout the hustle of each day
You love them with all your heart
And they wouldn’t have it any other way.