To The Foster Mamas

by Andrea Harris

Foster care is an unusual journey. It is a journey filled with moments of pain and uncertainty. It’s a journey with unanswered questions and unknown timelines. It’s wild and unpredictable. And can feel lonely. Not everyone can relate to the rollercoaster of emotions each family meeting and permanency hearing can bring up.

And yet, I have found foster care to also be good. So needed. So rewarding. With many glory moments.

It has shown me that there are beautiful people around us that can love children that are not their own in such deep ways. It has shown me how much patience I can actually have, while also revealing the jittery impatience that lies deep within.

Often, I find myself tapping my fingernails on the window sill of my soul– Revealing how much more I need to put my trust in the Lord. 

The Beginning

We began this journey in December 2019. We were filled with much hope, feeling we would adopt through foster care.

The ultimate goal should be reunification for families, but our hearts wanted to be available to provide a forever home for the child (or children) that would not have the opportunity to return to their original home.

Our first call came one week after we were certified. We said yes without any idea of what to expect. It was the most trying two months, but two months that let me see just how wide my heart could stretch with new found love for perfect strangers. He gave me strength I did not know was there and He let me see a part of my husband I did not know was there either.

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Shortly after those boys came into our care, we were asked if we would adopt them. The thing was, it was not only them, but also their three siblings whom we had never met!

I’ll never forget that moment. We were sitting in a small conference room just outside the courtroom. All of a sudden, I felt trapped. The air felt thick, like I couldn’t breathe. Simultaneously, Phil and I gave different answers to the court lady… and then we looked at each other with questioning eyes.

My response, “Umm… I mean, we will have to think about it.”

Phil’s response, “Yes… definitely. We will do it.”

Wait.. what? That’s five whole kids, Phil!

At that moment, I realized the man he was. I realized the depth of his heart and that it was his journey as much as it was mine. And little did I know, it revealed deep levels of trust in his own heart that I would need for the days ahead. 

Two weeks later, a random family friend stepped in and we lost the boys. My heart shattered into a thousand pieces that cold day in January. I was left confused, broken, and lost. What just happened? Isn’t this what you wanted Lord? 

Here and Now

When we got our next (and current) set of children, I didn’t think it was possible, but my heart stretched its walls even more.

Despite the pain of losing the other two, it brought the realization that these two boys had a story that needed us so much more. We knew it was right.

(And P.S. their story with us is not over.) Twenty-two months in and we still do not have answers. There is still some waiting happening and trust… yes, lots of trust. For them and for us. But if you meet them for 30 seconds, you’ll quickly realize how worth it they are! 

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So why do we do it? Why put ourselves through the unpredictable, wild journey that foster care is?

I’m actually not really sure.

Just kidding.

It’s a pretty easy, uncomplicated answer: It’s because their little lives are worth it.

They are worth someone loving them so deep the thought of losing them shatters their world. They are worth the risk of pain, loss, and grief. At no fault of their own, they were taken suddenly from their familiar broken world, experiencing a deep feeling of loss they can’t express. They should at least be given the opportunity to be a part of a secure, loving family in the meantime. They should be loved, cared for, and given a chance to build beautiful childhood memories in the middle of brokenness. I know it’s not for everyone and it’s not an easy journey. But it has been one of the most beautiful ones our family has experienced. 

Andrea’s blog, “The Goodness Of” is beautiful and documents moments of their journey along with other fun topics like health and wellness.

Check it out here: https://www.thegoodnessof.com/blog

To The Mama If Only For A Season

Hey Mama, I see you
As you’re setting up their room
Wondering whose little feet will walk through the door
 And if they will like you.

Hey Mama, I see you 
In the ups and downs of each day
The highs, the lows, the joys, the blows,
You cry, and laugh, and you always pray.

Hey there, sweet Mama, I see you
As you pour your heart and soul
Into little loves who need a home
And a safe place to grow.