To The Mama Who Stays At Home

A message from a stay at home mama

Being a stay at home mom is a dream, even on the hardest days. Everyday is different, some great, and some terrible, but there’s always a special grace that comes on those days.

Some days you’ll find yourself spread so thin. But your babies aren’t the only ones pulling at you. It’s the dishes, the laundry, the juice that dried on the floor 2 days ago, and then dinner. I found myself trying to keep up with these external things, which, of course need to be done, but they were stealing my peace. It created an inner anxiety that steadily built up over time, as I had the mindset that I needed to “keep up”.

Every time I would look at the dishes piled high – anxiety. Every time I peeped in the laundry room to find that the piles of clothes were continuously growing – anxiety.

I asked Abba, “why do I feel this knot in my stomach over these little things? Why is it stealing my peace?” He told me “Because it makes you feel in control to have everything perfect, and you find your peace in your ability to be in control…not in Me”. It was that moment my perspective changed. Will my babies remember that I kept a clean house, cooked hot meals, kept up with the dishes? Or will they remember that I sat with them and played in the middle of the mess. That I took the time to come and look when they ask “mama come see!!!”. They don’t care about the things I care about – I’m not cleaning the house for them, I’m really doing it for me. A dirty house doesn’t bother them in the least bit, because they’re too present to care about those things anyways. I’m getting there, daily reminding myself of these things and being able to let go of the expectation of a perfectly clean home. It’s just not possible with 3 babes. One day the house will be spotless, and strangely quiet and I will wish back the dirty boots, the spilled food on the floor, noisy laughter, and sticky handprints on my front door. So for now I will cherish the beautiful mess.

Dear Mama, slow down, and take it in. Remember what will matter years down the road, and remember what your babies will remember about their time spent with you. Everything else can wait. Tomorrow the dishes will still be there, and your babies will be a day older. So, it’s ok to slow down.

-Paige Putman