To the mama that is dreaming

Hey Mama, I see you
And I know you’re wondering why
I gave you that name and title
When it seems to keep passing you by

It’s ok, Mama, I see you
When you cry yourself to sleep
Wondering if your promise will ever come
Afraid to let yourself dream

Hey Mama, I still see you
Every baby shower gift you buy.
Celebrating sweet friends on their journey
Yet feeling left behind.

Don’t worry Mama, I see you
Keep holding on to hope
Let your love keep spilling out
And know…
You’re not alone.

I feel like we need a term to describe what it’s like to go to a million baby showers. Kind of like the “always a bridesmaid” phrase that describes the girls who attend or are a part of a ton of weddings before finally having their day. If you have ever seen the movie “27 Dresses” you know what I’m talking about.

I mean, “always a baby shower attendee” doesn’t quite roll off the tongue. I even googled that phrase right now, at this very moment, and nothing came up. Still, that is a real feeling. Baby showers are sweet, fun events with yummy snacks and cute little outfits to “ooh” and “aah” over until you’re in a season of dreaming about starting your own family…and worse, when that is taking longer than you expected or circumstances look hopeless. 

It’s the same with pregnancy announcements, gender reveals, newborn pictures, etc. If becoming a mama is something you desire and it just hasn’t happened for you yet, those events and occasions can be painful. They aren’t always, but still, they can be. Those emotions get very hard to navigate because you feel torn between excitement for the person in your life that is experiencing these things, and disappointment with your own situation, whatever that may be.

I remember one specific baby shower I attended. I barely made it through it. My emotions were so strong I thought I was going to burst into tears at any moment. And another time, I remember reading about a friend’s pregnancy announcement and feeling so happy and sad at the same time. That was the moment I heard the phrase “Hey Mama I See You.” (story in the “About” section.)

My point in sharing this with you is to bring some light to the emotional rollercoaster you may be riding. If you’re a mama that is dreaming, there are definite highs and lows that come with that. Some days you seem fine, you are hopeful and excited. And other days you feel triggered, sad, and the disappointment is a heavy burden to bear. 

I want to encourage you to let go of any expectations you have about what becoming a mother is going to look like for you, and just trust that He is working all things for your good…and it’s going to be beautiful. Easier said than done sometimes, but you are not alone.

There are mamas all around you who have been in similar situations. They’ve been given the sad medical diagnoses or the failed results. They’ve been told their dream was impossible and would never happen. They’ve believed and prayed and cried and rejoiced. They have experienced both heartaches and miracles. 

Surround yourself with them, and let them give you hope in your dark moments. 

And let yourself dream.

Dream about getting married and starting a family. Dream about the days when you are changing 20 diapers, or rocking your babies to sleep. Dream about feeling them grow inside of you, or bringing them home for the first time. Dream about sharing your pregnancy/adoption announcement with all the friends and family who have waited along with you. Dream about fostering and having a house full of kids.

Those dreams are not in vain. He placed them inside of you. Hold on to your dreams and let them fill you with hope. Your story isn’t over yet. And there are mamas walking this same path, following behind you, that will need your strength and wisdom as they dream too.

Love,

A mama that is -also- still dreaming